Two kinds of MEN
I Have People tells the story of a good man and a not-so-good man.
I wanted to portray a STARK difference between the two men.
The good man is kind, gentle, polite, compassionate, soft-spoken, and loyal. Above all, he is a gentleman.
Here’s where things get complicated. The not-so-good man has many of the same qualities. He is also funny, social, charming, friendly, and out-going. People are drawn to him because of his magnetic personality. This is why I use the term ‘not-so-good’ instead of ‘bad.’ The not-so-good man is not ALL bad. Else, why would a woman marry him in the first place?
Everyone has faults. Everyone. Most of us willingly accept this fact. No one is perfect and we’re willing to accept the good along with the bad because we love that person.
But what if the man you love and adore has a fault that is unacceptable? And I’m not talking about loud snoring or leaving the toilet seat up.
In I Have People, the not-so-good man has a temper, a dark, angry rage deep inside of him that causes him to fly off the handle and quite literally explode. Because of this, he is terrifying. You never know what will set him off. One minute, he’s amazing, the next minute, he’s a maniac, someone you hardly know—or even want to know.
Image courtesy of [smarnad] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
It is this kind of behavior that breaks hearts, kills love, and destroys relationships. It is unacceptable. IT IS NOT OKAY.
When a woman faces an abusive situation, we all ask ourselves the million dollar question, why does she stay with him? Why doesn’t she leave him?
It's complicated and I can't speak for all women. But I believe one reason is because love is involved. When the person who is supposed to love and adore you suddenly turns on you, it's devastating. Especially when this is the person you have laughed with, loved with, and lived with.
Other reasons include: fear, embarrassment, believing the abuser will change, believing it is your fault that the abuser behaves the way he does, having nowhere else to go, or having no one to turn to for help.
In I Have People I tried to capture the emotion and the angst behind this devastating behavior. Whether it’s verbal abuse, physical abuse, or mental abuse, IT IS NOT OKAY.
If the reader takes away anything after reading I Have People, I hope it will be this.
I just had to share this with you.ReplyDelete
I was watching Bones on TV and Seeley says to Temperance, "you're people are my people."
Bones said with a look of wonder on her face, "I Have People."
I thought of you and the book immediately.
I loved it and could hardly wait to tell you.
I am smiling as I write this.
Hope your trip is going well. I guess that is probably an understatement. lol ENJOY!!!
I love it, Sherry! I absolutely love it! Thank you for sharing that with me! You made me smile! My visit with my daughter and new grandson is going wonderful, busy, but wonderful!Delete
Having recently read an article in Psychology Today about psychopaths, now more commonly referred to as sociopaths, I can see that some men fall into this category (of course, some women do as well). There seems to be a pattern with these types where their meanness comes out simply because they like to have power over others. And you're right, it's not okay. Same sort of thing happens with people with Narcissistic personality disorder. They tend to have no qualms about being cruel to people. Have you read 'Breathing Life into your characters' by Rachel Ballon? It's great for researching antagonist characters.ReplyDelete
Thanks for your comment, Justin. I haven't read "Breathing Life into your Characters." Thanks for telling me about it, I'll have to check it out.Delete
I imagine that these men and women who lose their tempers and yell at (or strike) their loved ones have some sort of disorder besides just having anger management issues. Good thoughts. Thank you.