Tuesday, June 18, 2013


Two Kinds of LOVE 

Love can be described and felt in many different ways. In I Have People, my main character, Holly, learns the difference between conditional love and unconditional love.

Image courtesy of [digitalart] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When we love someone else unconditionally, we put their needs, wants, and desires above our own. It is an expression of complete unselfishness.

The opposite kind of love is ugly and cruel, based solely upon what one person can get out of the relationship, with no thought to the other. It is not love. It is an illusion of love.

Someone may say they love another person, they may even announce it effusively and often. But if they turn around and yell at that person or strike that person when they say or do something that displeases them, it is not love. The perpetrator may apologize profusely and declare their love rather demonstratively after the fact.

Don’t buy it.

That isn’t love. It’s control.

Remember the old adage, ‘actions speak louder than words.’

This is the lesson Holly learns in I Have People.

Here’s a quick excerpt:

Holly spent the next few days deep in thought. She’d been waiting for things to return to normal, for Cal to be happy again. But realization had dawned that this was Cal’s true nature and nothing was going to change. What should she do? Cal was a loose cannon. Totally unpredictable. He was so wonderful one minute, but he could turn on you the next. And if he turns on you, look out. It won’t be good.
On the other hand, he’d never hit her. So he had a temper, so he threw things once in a while, so he yelled . . . so what? He was all bark. Rationalizing helped to console her. But then she thought about the time he’d pushed her against the wall, his hands gripping the collar of her shirt. And what about the time he’d pulled her through the store by her hair?
But he loved her. He always apologized. He always felt bad afterwards.
So what? Bad behavior is bad behavior. In the end, it didn’t matter how much a perpetrator loved their victim. They still hurt them. Right?


I Have People delves into these two extreme types of love and explores the sometimes dark differences.


  1. Sadly, I know this first hand. But, I immediately got out of the relationship when I recognized the signs.
    Everything was great until he was laid off from his job. Then he changed, quickly.
    I knew better than to lie to myself and ended it with some difficulty.

    1. Thanks for sharing that with me, Laura. Good for you for getting out of the relationship. It's not an easy thing to do and takes a lot of courage.