Monday, March 3, 2014


Two words describe this weekend:
(and this does not mean I'm sick of editing!)

I caught some sort of flu-like virus. Misery.

And I'm still knee-deep in editing I'M WITH YOU.

Let me explain.

Last weekend we helped our daughter move to a new home.
This gave me the opportunity to discuss I'M WITH YOU with her.
We talk on the phone ALL THE TIME, but a face-to-face talk is so much better.
She finally admitted to me that she just can't finish reading I'M WITH YOU.
You see, I'M WITH YOU includes my daughter's Trisomy 18 story. (Note: Her Trisomy 18 story, not the story of her marriage.)
She made it just past the Trisomy 18 reveal scene and it was just too emotional for her.
I understand completely.
It was extremely important to me to have her blessing with the publication of this book.
She has given it to me.
If she wasn't okay with it, I would not publish it.

So, as we were having our little heart-to-heart, she asked me to tell her the rest of the story since she will not be finishing the book.
I told her the ending and I also expressed how much I was struggling with it.
Would my characters behave this way? Were they making logical choices?
Even at this late date, I wasn't completely happy with the ending.
As it turned out, my daughter had the answers for me.
She's experienced Trisomy 18 and she understands the complicated and sometimes contradictory emotions of child loss.
She told me exactly how she would respond in the given situation.
And suddenly, I knew exactly how the story should end. Everything now makes sense.
It may not be how you or I would react to the given situation, but it is how a woman who has endured child loss would behave.
Hence, I am rewriting the ending.

I'M WITH YOU is a romance novel that includes a Trisomy 18 story.
While it deals with baby loss grief, there are several lighthearted scenes to counteract the dark scenes.
The novel focuses on the burgeoning romance. The entire book is not a downer. In many ways, the romance overrides the story and the baby loss is the secondary story.

Still, my daughter expressed difficulty in hearing about another woman's grief concerning child loss.
It's hard to hear someone else's grief when you're still dealing with your own.

The writing of this book has helped me to feel as though my grandson will never be forgotten.
Not  a day goes by that I don't think of him. 
This was my way of remembering him.
I held him in my arms and I'll never be the same after experiencing those precious thirty minutes. I rocked him as one would rock a baby, even though he was gone. It wasn't horrific, it was sacred.

This has been the hardest book I've ever written.
The subject matter is tender and sensitive and it did not come easy.

My other readers thus far have not expressed the same emotions as my daughter. Naturally, it is difficult to read about your own story through a fictional character's eyes.

In the end, I hope this book leaves the reader with a better understanding of how women who have endured child loss feel.
The emotions are varied and contradictory.
(My daughter says, "I contradict myself all the time, and I need everyone to be okay with that." Sometimes she wants to talk about her baby and sometimes she doesn't.)
I also hope readers will have enjoyed a heartfelt romance about finding the person who will stand by your side no matter what happens in life.

That being said, let's switch gears and end on an up note. 
Here's my dream cast for





Back to editing for me!
Have a great Monday everyone!


  1. Love your dream cast. Hope you're feeling better this week. Glad you figured out your ending. Endings can be so temperamental...but with all your emotional ties to this one, it has to be extra hard. Can't wait to read it. Good luck with the editing, revising.

    1. Thank you, Charissa. Still feeling pretty awful, and starting to suspect that this is the flu. It sure feels like it. But, I spent all day slumped at my computer re-writing my ending, and it made me forget about being sick. The ending is still not quite there yet, but it's coming along and I'm starting to feel happy with it. Thanks!

  2. I hope you are feeling better! I already know that this is going to be an emotional read, but I'm so looking forward to it. Take care of yourself!

    1. Thanks, Christy! Much appreciated. I HATE being sick. I don't have time to be sick!
      BTW, I LOVED Miki's review of For Nick! Thanks again for letting me know she was posting it on her blog.

  3. If your post is any indication, I'm thinking this may be your best writing yet Taylor. Your familial ties to this plot will seep into your writing and your daughters blessing was courageous.
    Be well Taylor and I'll be waiting for your book.

    1. Thank you, Laura. I hope you are right. It's not a book I planned on writing. But when it happened to us, I knew I wanted to somehow include it in my writing. I just wasn't sure how. Then the idea for I'm With You came to me, and I knew I had to do it. If anything, it has helped me to feel expunged of the wild emotions. I guess you could say it gave me closure.

  4. After seeing your dream cast, I'm even more excited for the book! Also, I can think of no better way for you to honor your grandson's memory.

    1. I love my dream cast too, Rachel. Thank you!
      This book makes our Jerad real, forever documented on paper that he lived. He certainly left a legacy in his wake. Thanks so much for your kind words!

  5. Sounds like a great book! Your books all have the most beautiful covers.
    I'm trying to ask my library to purchase this book but I cannot find any information about the publisher and I also cannot find it on amazon. Do you know when it will be available for pre-order?

    1. Hi Jessica! Thanks for asking about my books. I'm glad you like my covers. Makes me happy!
      I am self-published, so all of my books are published through Create Space. The paperbacks are available on Amazon. Unfortunately, I'm With You will not be available for pre-order, but the release date is scheduled for March 30th. (I will announce it here on my blog if the date changes.) Thanks again for asking! And thanks for stopping by my blog!

  6. Your post brought tears to my eyes and I am not a weepy, touchy, feely kind of person. Your daughter seems like one of those people that would enrich anyone's life she comes in contact with. I am sorry for your loss and hope this will be a healing for all of you. Hope you feel better soon. ^_^

    1. It's hard to not feel teary when hearing about child loss. All Trisomy 18 stories leave me teary. It's such a heartbreaking experience--and yet it's also an experience that leaves you so filled with love for that precious little baby. It's a wild ride of emotions. I think that's why it has been so helpful to put it all to paper. I appreciate your kind words so very much, Sherry. I hope I can get this book "right" and express it all properly. Thank you!